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McCain's Cosmological Breakthrough: Unreality Is Expanding
The McCain campaign may deserve the 2009 Nobel Prize in physical sciences, according to The Atlantic's Mark Ambinder. Breaking a barrier in quantum physics, the McCain campaign and its surrogates are now attempting to prove that unreality is expanding.
"Gov. Sarah Palin, campaigning, she said, in "real America," which apparently includes part of North Carolina, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, calling for a media investigation to determine whether Americans are real or not, and today, McCain all-around best surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced -- Foe-Ten-How-er, like proton power), said that parts of the state of Virginia, heretofore universally assumed to be in America, were not, in fact, in the country.
"We cannot rule out the possibility that Palin, Bachmann and Pftoenhauer -- let's call them PBP for short -- are somehow about to perceive these extra dimensions, and that there is something fundamental about their physical constitutions that makes such perceptions unavailable to most everyone else.
"If you think that's special, then think about this. Pfotenhauer said that she lives in a place called Oakton, Va. Oakton is located in Fairfax County. Pfotenhauer implied that the country was part of "real America" because it was open to the possibility of electing John McCain. Here's the problem: Fairfax County, like its neighbors, are in the process of turning colors. (We can detect this with a special version of a mass spectrometer called a "ballot box.")
Cosmologists and physicists may be delighted to see another mystery of physics revealed by the McCain campaign.
(Mark Ambinder story here). (Washington Post story here).
Carole
p.s. In separating northern Virginia from "real Virginia," McCain adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer may have offended many residents of Virginia at a rally in the northern Virginia town of Woodbridge. Thousands of Virginians commute to Washington, D.C. every day on I-95.
In reality, Obama has campaigned more in what the McCain campiagn calls "real Virginia" than even McCain has done.
"Obama has made nine campaign stops in central, southwest, and southeast Virginia: in Martinsville, Lynchburg, Chester, Chesapeake, Fredericksburg, Lebanon, Norfolk, Roanoke and Newport News. Biden has made two: Castlewood and Fredericksburg.
"By contrast, McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin have only ventured out of northern Virginia twice. On Monday, the pair held a joint rally in Virginia Beach, and Palin then continued on to a campaign stop in Richmond."
(CNN story here).
"Gov. Sarah Palin, campaigning, she said, in "real America," which apparently includes part of North Carolina, Rep. Michelle Bachmann, calling for a media investigation to determine whether Americans are real or not, and today, McCain all-around best surrogate Nancy Pfotenhauer (pronounced -- Foe-Ten-How-er, like proton power), said that parts of the state of Virginia, heretofore universally assumed to be in America, were not, in fact, in the country.
"We cannot rule out the possibility that Palin, Bachmann and Pftoenhauer -- let's call them PBP for short -- are somehow about to perceive these extra dimensions, and that there is something fundamental about their physical constitutions that makes such perceptions unavailable to most everyone else.
"If you think that's special, then think about this. Pfotenhauer said that she lives in a place called Oakton, Va. Oakton is located in Fairfax County. Pfotenhauer implied that the country was part of "real America" because it was open to the possibility of electing John McCain. Here's the problem: Fairfax County, like its neighbors, are in the process of turning colors. (We can detect this with a special version of a mass spectrometer called a "ballot box.")
Cosmologists and physicists may be delighted to see another mystery of physics revealed by the McCain campaign.
(Mark Ambinder story here). (Washington Post story here).
Carole
p.s. In separating northern Virginia from "real Virginia," McCain adviser Nancy Pfotenhauer may have offended many residents of Virginia at a rally in the northern Virginia town of Woodbridge. Thousands of Virginians commute to Washington, D.C. every day on I-95.
In reality, Obama has campaigned more in what the McCain campiagn calls "real Virginia" than even McCain has done.
"Obama has made nine campaign stops in central, southwest, and southeast Virginia: in Martinsville, Lynchburg, Chester, Chesapeake, Fredericksburg, Lebanon, Norfolk, Roanoke and Newport News. Biden has made two: Castlewood and Fredericksburg.
"By contrast, McCain and his running mate Sarah Palin have only ventured out of northern Virginia twice. On Monday, the pair held a joint rally in Virginia Beach, and Palin then continued on to a campaign stop in Richmond."
(CNN story here).
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